"Don't take this the wrong way," my friend said,
as she placed a hand on my arm to assure me of her affection. "But, you
have a habit of telling everyone how to live their lives. Because you do
certain things, you think everyone should follow suit."
I thought for a moment, and then said: "You're right;
I'm pushy."
Now that we've gotten that out of the way, listen up: I know
what's best for you. In no particular order, here are suggestions -- honed by
me -- that can assuage loneliness, lift depression, curb procrastination, improve
efficiency, and build self-esteem. (Okay, let's scratch can and substitute, may.
It's possible I'm not actually omnipotent.)
-Write in a journal every morning. I prefer a spiral 6-x-8
notebook and Pilot V Razor Point fine pen. But you can choose your own journal
and writing instrument; no electronic devices permitted. A cup of coffee is a lovely companion as you mentally
review your previous day and record accomplishments, disappointments, anger, happiness,
prideful moments, despair, or anything else that pops into your brain at that
early hour.
Important: the journal is for your eyes only, no competition
as if you were a member of a writing workshop. This practice is not just for
would-be writers; it was extremely therapeutic for me when I was a caregiver
for Tommy. My pages were akin to a support group where I could pour out my
frustration and fears without getting well-meaning, but ill-fitting, advice
from others.
-Enroll in a class or three. Currently, I'm taking lessons in
Spanish, piano, and yoga. You may remember that I have attempted these three things
in previous years and then abandoned them for one reason or another. No matter,
currently, the schedules, locations, and teachers of these disciplines fit into
my life. So, I'm back at the chair, bench, and mat. And, along with improving
at each, I'm meeting new friends.
I'll throw in another nag here: don't avoid trying something
anew because others will remind you that you're previously bailed and re-upped on
the very same class. So what; give it a go again.
-Use a timer for tasks. This practice works well for writers
who procrastinate about getting anything down on a blank page. But, I also
recommend it for those who stall on doing household chores, paying bills, preparing
taxes, or any other onerous job.
I use the clock on my iPhone, but a simple, plastic kitchen
timer will suffice. Set it for 30 minutes, and then hunker down. When it
signals, you are permitted to pop up, and then do something more pleasant. But, as is often the case with writing, you may find that
those 30 minutes have unleashed some buried creativity. If so, you are
permitted to silence the buzzer and continue to follow your muse.
-Become a morning person. I realize this will be tricky for
those of you who enjoy sleeping late and staying up till midnight. But, if you
can massage your body clock to go to bed earlier and rise before sunup, you'll
be amazed at the amount of stuff you can accomplish.
I'm not suggesting you incorporate my hours -- 8 pm bedtime
and 4 am wake up -- for even I recognize its absurdity. Yes, I need a nap at
midday, and ditto to my fading at evening events. I'll trade those hindrances
for the calm of being on top of tasks.
-Prepare the night before. This habit works well if you plan
to visit a gym in the morning, but find yourself scrapping the goal. It also
succeeds for any other first-thing-of-the-day meeting, class, or appointment.
Before going to bed (early, remember?), fill your gym bag with workout
clothing, stack your class books and notebook, assemble folders and notes, or
gather anything needed to make sure you get out the door on time and arrive
prepared.
-Take a walk and
talk to yourself. I have a bountiful gym in my high rise, but when weather
permits, I do a mile jaunt outdoors. I eschew ear buds and audio, but instead
talk to myself. Sure, passersby may think I'm bonkers, but because I live
alone, I don't use my voice often enough. Not only does this help vocal cords,
but it also forces you to take in your surroundings and perhaps comment, as in:
That's a good-looking grey-haired guy. Wonder if he's got a ring? Maybe I'll
smile as I get closer. (See the possibilities?)
-Express
appreciation. If any of my directives feel reasonable, fitting, and potentially
fruitful, try my custom: To profess gratitude, send a thank-you note. Electronic
can suffice, but handwritten is awesome. (Too pushy?)