My Apple Family Sticks Together
Some commotion in the kitchen woke me. Surprisingly, the sounds didn’t rouse Doris. My dog remained flat on the bed, sweetly snoring.
If she couldn’t hear it, with the superior hearing ascribed to her breed, perhaps I was imagining it.
I didn’t turn on the kitchen light for fear that would startle Doris and launch her barking. But there was enough glow coming from my apartment’s floor-to-ceiling windows to steer me toward the sound.
Sobs. There were sobs coming from Rosie, my new MacBook Air! I had just purchased her (her cover is rose colored, hence the name and gender) the day before at the Apple Store on North Ave. in Chicago.
She was a replacement for my previous MacBook, who lived with me for 10 years before his battery finally gave up. (Steel grey, Mack.)
I tip-toed closer. My bare feet enabled this stealth move.
“Can you believe she’s set me on a kitchen counter?” It was Rosie kvetching to my iPhone and iWatch who were plugged in nearby.
I heard murmurs from these two devices, and then the watch increased his volume to respond. “What are you complaining about?” he said. “We’ve been tucked in here for years. Sure, it’s unglamorous, but it’s quiet and until tonight, permitted peaceful repose.”
This was fascinating! So, this is what goes on when dog and I are comatose for the night!
“Yes, but my previous home was a display table at the Apple Store,” Rosie weeped. “I had half a dozen buddies as neighbors. We got to know each other. We kibitzed. We made fun of the customers who thought they’d be able to easily master us. We even took bets on how soon an idiot would return to the store throwing up his hands in defeat. Fun times.”
Watch and phone murmured a few sympathetic sounds, but it was clear they lacked sympathy for the newcomer.
Suddenly, a voice from the bookcase caught my attention. She sounded like a grade schoolteacher, self-assured yet impatient. It was Alexa, a circle of yellow light aglow. “Oh, you Apples,” she said. “Always something to complain about. But I do appreciate the way you stick together.”
“Rosie,” she said, I guess she was trying to be the empathetic female of the bunch. “They didn’t tell you, but when phone and watch first arrived they were disappointed, too. Every device hopes they’ll get adopted by a geek, someone who appreciates technology and won’t get frustrated by every step.”
So that’s why it took me so long to figure each one out, I thought, my Apple devices were hoping for someone younger, more tech savvy, more appreciative of their powers.
“And you know what’s worse,” Rosie said, adjusting her volume upwards. “She schleps me to her bed and types on me there, with the dog right next to us. Dog! Dog hair! How could she be so inconsiderate.”
I was beginning to feel sorry for her, but there was no way she was going to change my routine.
Gratefully, iPhone piped up. “You’ll get used to it, sweetie,” he said. I know he was trying to be comforting, but it appears Rosie didn’t take it that way.
“Let’s get something straight,” she said, now sounding more like schoolteacher Alexa than the pitiful newcomer. “Do not call me sweetie. I am intelligent, powerful, creative….”
“I’m so sorry,” iPhone interrupted. “I didn’t mean to imply…” He stuttered. I wondered if I should shut him down and restart him.
Fortunately, Rosie responded. “I’m sorry that was harsh,” she said. I was happy to learn she had a soft side. “I really appreciate you guys and I’m relieved to know I’ll have family here. I’m sure I’ll adjust.”
Now some sobbing came from Alexa. “I really envy you three,” she said. “Your always stick together. You share all your apps, so sweet. My only relative is the Firestick plugged into the TV. Just try and get some sympathy or conversation from that muscle man.”
“Rosie, you’ll get used to Elaine. She’s old, but she’s not as clueless as you think. She really has been trying hard to learn all about us. And I heard from friends at the Apple Store, that she was tearful when she turned in Mack.”
The phone was right. Mack could not be resuscitated because his battery was dead, he was more than 10 years old, and his operating system couldn’t be upgraded. I did give him a kiss, fingers to cover, and thanked him for all his years of service.
“Thanks everyone,” Rosie said as the kitchen went quiet.
Before I padded back to sleep, I could swear I saw a sliver of light wink at me.